


Karaoke Night

by IncreasingLight



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: ALL THE FLUFF, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, M/M, The Herald's Rest, really poor choices in music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 08:33:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4297872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncreasingLight/pseuds/IncreasingLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The stupid, fluffy Karaoke AU no one wanted because I couldn't write until I got it out of my head.  So fair warning, it's fluffy in here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Idea of Dubious Merit

**Author's Note:**

> I blame Parsnip. The karaoke scene in the modern AU wouldn't get out of my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about what the others would sing, and because I apparently can't write anything but fluff - this happened. I'm sorry. Forgive me.

It was Karoke Night at the Herald’s Rest, and Dorian and Ellana had bribed, begged and blackmailed almost everyone to be there. Naturally, Solas had begged off, citing a lack of interest in pop music entirely, and Blackwall still felt too awkward hanging out after his recent trial, despite the Inquisitor’s full pardon. But even Madame de Fer was there, haughty and imposing, sipping on a glass of white wine. She had to be bribed - she would be left out of any trips to the Fallow Mire, Crestwood (‘It is too provincial, darling!’), and the Storm Coast for the near future.

Of course, some were more enthusiastic than others. Sera had been cackling to herself for the last five minutes. Dorian shuddered, imagining what would come of her performance. Hopefully it wouldn’t involve bees. She had declared she was going first, ‘to kick this off right, aye!’

Cassandra was already two shots in. What she was girding herself for, Dorian could only imagine. She had to perform though - those were the rules for everyone who attended Karaoke Night - by Inquisitor’s decree. Said Inquisitor Lavellan was looking far too sweet for words, hand entwined in Cullen’s as they ordered their drinks. They were so cute that they would give him cavities. His face softened though, looking at his occasional lover, who was one of the enthusiastic participants. He had refused to tell him what he was going to sing, and Dorian frowned attractively. He didn’t like surprises.

Hawke and Varric were positively bubbly, as the friends amicably fought over their selection. They wanted to do a duet, and that limited their choices. Varric was lobbying hard for Sonny and Cher, of all things, but Hawke was determined on a more modern choice.

“You could just do them both,” Ellana pointed out, back at the table, allowing Cullen to pull out her chair. 

“No, no,” Hawke insisted, “Varric and I will already steal the show. You don’t want us to monopolize the whole evening.”

“Yeah,” Varric added, “Don’t encourage Limelight. She loves being the center of attention.” Hawke shoved him and he shoved back.

“Ass.”

“Attention Hog.”

“Children!” Madame de Fer rolled her eyes. “Can we please begin? I do have other places to be.”

Sera bounced up, knocked back her drink, let out a yelp that sounded like something from the end of ‘Love Shack’, and took the stage. No one was surprised when she selected the Black Eyed Peas.

“Look at her dancing!/Just take it off!”

Dorian groaned when Sera stripped off her top and shimmied in her bra and leggings for the rest of the song. But when she reached ‘Mazel Tov!” everyone still shouted, “L’Heim!’ and downed their drink. After all, they were there to have fun, and blow off a little steam. It had been a rough few months, and they were rarely all in Skyhold at the same time. It was a little much when Sera never put her top back on, but Vivienne was already standing, imperious and determined.

“Sera, darling, it wasn’t supposed to be a strip tease.”

“Yeah, whatever, I saw you lookin’,” Sera taunted.

“Everyone was looking. That is not a good thing,” The Iron Lady was making her way to the stage now, however, and Dorian's eyes followed her, curious to see what she would pick. And could she sing?

Apparently, she could. Vivienne swung into ‘Girl on Fire’ like it had been written for her. Dorian was a little stunned, but appreciative. Of course, without waiting for applause or compliments, Vivienne swept from the stage and left as soon as the song ended, leaving like she knew no one could follow that.

“Never let it be said that Madame de Fer didn’t live up to expectations,” Dorian commented.

Varric and Hawke were up next, Hawke having won the coin toss. The sweet country sounds of Bon Jovi swept through the room and Varric started, Hawke jumping in soon after.

‘Been there, done that, I ain't looking back at the seeds I’ve sown./ Saving dimes, spending too much time on the telephone./ Who says you can’t go home?’

The duo rocked the tune, their trademark give and take and impeccable timing lending itself to the song. They were obviously happy and enjoying themselves.

Dorian found himself wondering if they had rehearsed, actually. It seemed a little too well done for Karaoke. But he found himself whistling and clapping at the end as the two caught their breath, laughing.

Their performance seemed to inspire Cassandra, who was four shots and half an ale in at this point.

“Go, Seeker!” Varric yelled, as Hawke and Sera stumbled to the bar for another order. “Show ‘em how it’s done!”

But even he was surprised at Lady Gaga.

Cassandra sang it like she was playing a part. Her black leather pants were certainly a good costume choice, and Dorian wondered how long she had been planning this.

“I want your loving, I want your revenge, you and me could write a bad romance./ I want your loving, I want your lover’s revenge, you and me could write a bad romance.”

Varric was enraptured, Dorian could see. This was unforeseen.

“You’re a criminal, as long as you’re mine…” Cassandra crooned at him, and Dorian could see him swallow. A little embarrassed for Varric, he turned to Bull - only to see his lover becoming visibly aroused. Dorian’s eyes narrowed. This was not okay, but it wasn’t the time to counter yet. He had to wait for the right moment.

“I don’t want to be friends!” Cassandra belted. Varric’s eyes got really big. “I don’t want to be friends!” She slipped into the Orlesian phrasing as if it were her mother tongue. Dorian was really embarrassed for Varric now. He was practically panting. Cassandra was owning that song.

The entire room was silent except for the sound of two men breathing heavily. Varric’s eyes were locked with the Seeker’s and she blushed.

“Damn, Cassandra, that was… hot.” Bull growled.

“It will never happen, Bull.” Cassandra shot him down, sliding into her seat. Varric moved next to her in a moment, but she refused to make eye contact with him as she chugged the rest of her drink. He slid her his, and their eyes met briefly. She almost smiled.

After that, no one was willing to go. It had been so impressive, and so intimate. But Iron Bull shook himself, and Dorian's heart stopped as he went to the stage.  
He hadn’t been expecting Nine Inch Nails, however. As Bull growled out ‘Hurt’, his breath stopped more than once. His eyes never left Bull’s as he finished.

‘If I could start again, a million miles away,/ I would keep myself, I would find a way.’

The applause was polite as he made his way back to the table. Dorian tried to deflect his emotion. It still wasn’t the right time. He had to wait.

Varric broke the mood a bit by calling for more drinks. Cassandra was right next to him, and was she giggling? Dorian shuddered. This evening was getting sickening, with everyone pairing off.

And then Ellana decided to go next. He knew she had a lovely voice, but on the sweetish side, much like her personality. He smiled indulgently when Ingrid Michaelson began.

“If you are chilly, here, take my sweater/ Your head is aching, I’ll make it better./ Cause I love the way you call me Baby/ And you take me the way I am.”

When she reached the line about the Rogaine, Sera crackled from the bar. “Yeah, ‘cause you love his short and curlies? Don’t cha, Quizzy?’

Ellana, to her credit, finished the song with a wink and a smile. Cullen’s face was so full of adoration it was embarrassing. But then, he was used to Sera's pranks and comments by now. Sera had made him a special goal of hers, to keep him looking like people. Dorian downed his next drink, not surprised when Cullen stood to go next.

Only to groan at the first strains of Cullen’s choice. Heavenly Maker, were all his friends going to embarrass themselves tonight? Had they no shame?

‘I can’t stop this feeling/ Deep inside of me…’

Dorian groaned and drank deep. Cassandra sighed, and looked wistful, but Varric put his arm around her and she almost smiled again. Ellana beamed at Cullen and leaned on her hands.

‘I got it bad for you, girl, but I don’t need a cure. / I’ll just stay addicted and hope I can endure…’

Ellana threw herself at him before he could even reach the table. Cullen managed to catch her just in time, and the two were passionately necking before they could reach the door, leaving it open behind them. Cassandra made a unconvincing disgusted noise and stood, looking down at Varric. Varric said, “Right behind you, Seeker,’ and followed her out, his hand on her lower back, dangerously close to her ass. Dorian looked around. The Iron Bull and himself were mostly alone. Sera and Hawke were engaged in a drinking contest at the bar, overseen by Cabot. It was time. He finally felt safe, almost alone with his lover.

He called up Bryan Adams.

‘Rescue me from the Mire./ Whisper words of desire./ Rescue me…’

The Iron Bull’s mouth dropped open. Dorian closed his eyes, fearing his reaction and scared he wouldn’t be able to finish. And he had to finish what he started.

‘I don’t wanna let you go, so I’m standing in your way…’

Bull half stood, staring while his lover laid his soul bare.

‘Do I have to say the words?’

The song trailed off. Dorian opened his eyes, and saw his answer. Without a word, Bull grabbed his hand and they ran.

Behind the bar, Cabot smiled. Karaoke Night had been a success.


	2. Wildest Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I'm actually posting another chapter of this - my ultimate guilty pleasure fic - but this has been sitting in my computer for months. And I'm trying to be brave.
> 
> Bull does Taylor Swift. 'Nuff said.

Bull stepped up to the microphone, and tapped it twice. “Uh, yeah, you won’t have heard a guy do this one. But… tough.” The scattered chuckles were mixed with rolled eyes of the rest of the Rest's audience. “I love this song. It‘s pretty. And someone I care about sings it in the shower, so… this is for you, Kadan.”

_Holy Maker, tell me he’s not going to sing…_ but it was already too late.

The background music of Taylor Swift’s ‘Wildest Dreams’ started, and Bull’s voice rumbled through the speakers, as he focused his eyes on Dorian.

“He said, ‘Let’s get out of this town‘…” and Dorian’s mouth went dry. Naturally, his prayers for mercy had gone unheeded. The Maker truly wasn’t paying attention.

He had been singing this in the shower for a few weeks now. Apparently, Bull had been listening. Dorian felt the heat rise from his chest to reach his face.

“He’s so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well,” Bull pleaded, playing it up for the entire room with his hands roaming all over his muscled torso and thighs, and Dorian fought the urge to bury his face in his hands. _But that would give away the show. Vashante Kaffas._

“Someday when you leave me, I bet these memories follow you around,” Bull quirked a smile at Dorian, loving the effect he was having. “Say you’ll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, red lips and rosy cheeks. Say you’ll see me again, even if its just in your wildest dreams…”

Dorian closed his eyes. The next verse… _Kaffas_.

“I said, ‘No one has to know what we do,' his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room…” Bull wasn’t breaking his focus, Dorian could feel his eyes on him, even with his own tightly shut. “And his voice is a familiar sound… nothing lasts forever.” Had his Amatus’ voice cracked? _Surely not._

“See me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night, burning it down!” Bull was going for the big finish, and Dorian reluctantly opened his eyes, so not to miss it.

And Bull’s eye begged him, as soon as he realized he was watching again. “Say you’ll see me again, even if its just in your wildest dreams. In your wildest dreams…”

The applause was huge, and Dorian managed to quirk an embarrassed but appreciative smile for the larger man. _He had done it so well._ His mental choice of words made him smirk - unintentional, but amusing. 

The usual women (Bull was a regular at Karaoke Night) were trying to catch his Amatus’ eye, but Bull wasn’t giving them any satisfaction.

He only had eyes for him. Dorian could feel his blush deepening, and his throat constricting.

The song was appropriate, however… teeny bopperish.

But that was his Bull, wasn’t it? His Karaoke choices ranged from grunge to Johnny Cash to Big Band to Shania Twain.  He didn’t care about being classy. He liked what he liked, and to the Void if you didn’t like it too. On his better days, Dorian loved that about him. When it didn’t drive him insane.

The only problem with the song selection (other than that he had outed Dorian as a Swift fan) was that this… encounter… was never going to end. Not if he could help it. He wouldn’t be fantasizing about Bull.

He was going to have the real thing. For as long as he could manage it.

There was no substitute for the Iron Bull.

Maybe he should tell him?  As he caught Bull's triumphant grin just before the kossith picked him up and swung him around (putting on a show for those girls, no doubt), chuckling the whole time, he realized...

He didn't have to.  Bull knew.

Bull always knew.

 


	3. The King and Queen of Ferelden, stage left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because apparently my head isn't done with this crack fic yet. My ultimate guilty pleasure. Chapter 3.
> 
> Maker forgive me.

The next Karaoke Night had a couple of illustrious guests, who were half hidden in a booth. Both were sipping genteelly at their beverages and the woman was waggling her fingers at the people who met her eyes, as if vaguely alarmed at making a public appearance.

And Bull was at the mike. Again. Dorian leaned back, knowing his Amatus wasn’t going to let their attendance slide.

For once he wouldn’t be the one being embarrassed. This would be the stuff of legends.  The Herald's Rest would be talking about this until the next age.  At least.  They might even add to the Chant of Light to honor his Bull's singing.

“This one is going out to the King and Queen of Ferelden!” The crowd roared. Bull was the single most popular Karaoke star at this point - far past being a regular. The bar wanted to hire him to stage shows, because the bar sales had tripled since he started singing. “Let’s hear it for Their Majesties!”

The couple waved slightly. The Queen flushed, but the King grinned gamely, stood up and took a bow. “I bet they’re pretty familiar with this one,” Bull nodded smug and assured. “So… hit it,” he told the MC. An old 80’s pop hit bounced through the speakers.

Dorian burst into laughter at the first phrase and then hid his mouth, not willing to ruin it for Bull.

“Children behave! That’s what they say when we’re together. And watch how you play!” Bull waggled his finger, and blinked his one eye in an approximation of a sexy wink. “They don’t understand, and so we’re running just as fast as we can. Holding onto one another’s hand. Trying to get away into the night, and then you put your arms around me and we tumble to the ground and then you say…”

The King was bobbing his head and mouthing the words, enjoying the song and the joke on he and his wife, and Bull broke away just after the chorus to make a personal address. “Yeah, King Alistair knows what I’m talking about. Come on up, Your Majesty.” Alistair stopped and shook his head, refusing the honor.

The Queen however, downed her drink, and stood up, proud and fierce. “I think we’re alone now,” she sang loud enough to be heard without a mike in the crowded room, and perfectly on key. “There doesn’t seem to be anyone around.”

Alistair hid his face in his arms, and muttered something desperate, his ears pink. “I think we’re alone now. The beating of our hearts is the only sound,” she purred into her husband’s direction, and Bull stepped down and handed her the mike. She winked and whirled it like a professional, serenading her husband, with a wry and affectionate smirk.

“Look at the way, we gotta hide what we’re doing. Cause what would they say, if they ever knew and so we’re…” she broke into the second chorus and slid an arm around her waist beguilingly, striking a rockstar pose with one leg extended, and bent at the waist, she beckoned. “Come on, Cheesy. You know the words,” she laughed and shoved her mike under his chin. “Running just as fast as we can!”

“Holding on to one another’s hand,” Alistair nearly mumbled, apparently too used to following his wife's orders to dream of disobeying, his face redder than the wrong kind of lyrium.

“Trying to get away into the night, and then…” Alistair surged out of his chair, stole the mic, and managed a slow twist of his hips, making the ladies in the room hoot and holler, “we tumble to the ground and then we say…”

They slowed, staring each other in the eyes, “I think we’re alone now, there doesn't seem to be any one around,” they nearly breathed, her voice stronger than his, but his earnest and relieved. “I think we’re alone now…” the end of the song trailed off into their repetition of the final phrase, and then into the pulse beat of the drums and they were startled at the applause, blushing and laughing in good nature.

Bull retrieved the mike, and bowed with respect. “Ladies and gentlemen, the King and Queen of Ferelden. My kind of monarchs.” He slow clapped, as they took their seats. “Shit, that was hot. Am I right?!”

Dorian could only sigh, rest his head on his hand, take a shot, and hope Bull would never change.

But the Queen spoke up, as she took her seat, “Can I request ‘Circle in the Sand‘? Or do you not do Belinda Carlisle?”

Bull’s grin showed all his teeth. “’Course I do Belinda Carlisle. She’s a redhead!” He grunted, “Redheads. Am I right? But you gotta do it with me. Let‘s have some fun!”

Dorian ended up drinking with the King of Ferelden, while the Queen and Bull harmonized, singing not to each other, but to the two men getting very steadily drunk. “I begin where you end, some things are forever!” she sang to Alistair who Dorian honestly believed couldn’t get any redder.

“Never should have introduced them,” Alistair slurred, and tilted his glass to touch Dorian’s gently.

“S’Trouble,” Dorian agreed, with some difficulty. “Maybe she’ll end up a Charger?”

Alistair pursed his lips, thinking slowly. “No. She’s Queen. Don’t think’ll work. Too busy. At,” he motioned idly, spilling most of his shot, “Royal stuff. Good at dragons though. Really good at those. Killed Andraste once. That was pretty cool. Was the dragon‘s name, ‘Draste. Made me armor. Still have it. Wear it sometimes, for fun.” He waggled his eyebrows. “She likes it. Know what I mean?” He pouted, “Should wear it tonight. Been a while.”

Dorian poured him another shot, and they toasted, and drank, as their lovers broke into ‘Eternal Flame’ as done by the Bangles.

“Close your eyes, give me your hand,” the Queen crooned, and Alistair flushed. “Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming? Is this burning an eternal flame?”

“I believe its meant to be,” Bull nearly moaned, “I watch you when you’re sleeping. You belong with me. Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming? Or is this burning an eternal flame?”

“Say my name!” The Queen exclaimed, and strolled out to Alistair’s table, sitting down deliberately, and running a finger under his fuzzy beard while she continued. “I don’t want to lose this feeling!”

“Holy Maker,” Alistair swallowed. “Elissa, love…”

Bull picked up the verse while she kissed him, “Close your eyes. Give me your hand. Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand?” He laid Dorian’s hand on his chest. “Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming?”

Dorian patted his chest, dazed and appreciative. “Very nice,” he mused in approval. Bull sort of winked again.

The song ended, and much to the men’s relief, Bull and the Queen relinquished their mikes to the MC. Bull kissed the Queen’s hand, before sliding back in next to Dorian and planting a kiss at his hairline. “T’was good,” Dorian mused. “Only a bit corny. Mostly at the end.  And the beginning.  Middle was good.”

“You’re going to be miserable tomorrow,” the Queen laughed at her husband and his row of empty shot glasses.

“We’ll throw up together,” her husband beamed, and the Queen froze. “Get it? Cause… you know… Hero Junior. Makes you sick. In the mornings.”

“Alistair,” she flushed, “We weren’t telling…”

“Healers say its fine,” Alistair stood up, and announced, “Queen’s pregnant! You’re all the first to know.”

The tavern went from a happily laughing bustle to completely silent in the blink of an eye.

“Well, shit,” Bull grunted. “Now I have to sing, ‘She’s Having My Baby.’”

“No,” Dorian clenched his fist in Bull’s Hawaiian shirt. “No. I forbid it. 80‘s bubblegum rock is one thing, but nothing so… sentimental. I beg you.”

The Queen sunk her head to the table. “Shit. And I can’t even drink to forget that just happened.” She turned her head and mock-glared at her husband. “It’ll be all over the tabloids tomorrow, Cheesy.”

“Eh, there’s always paparazzi,” Alistair pouted, “Wanted to tell people.  This is better than having Teagan 'nounce it.  More us.  I‘m having your baby. Or something like that. He should sing the song. I could sing it?!” He thought for a moment, and started to shove himself up. “Why not?” She dragged him down. “You don’t want to hear me sing? Tha’s hurtful. Love it when you sing.”

The Queen sighed, and picked up her phone to send a quick text to their driver, “Well, you managed to tell people, all right. Come on, time to make a discreet exit, while we can. Out the back, I think.” Her phone roared in response. Apparently the Queen of Ferelden’s text tone was a dragon’s roar.  Bull grunted in approval. “Let’s go,” she rose, and every Fereldan in the crowd rose with her, and saluted her, fist over their heart. “Shit,” she repeated, flushing.

“They’re happy for us,” Alistair beamed, and saluted back.

The Queen dragged him out the back, flanked by Bull and an inebriated Dorian, nodding to Cabot in passing, but genuinely smiling, all the same, to the sound of even louder applause. “I can’t take you anywhere,” she laughed at her husband as she shoved him into the waiting car. “Thanks for the fun,” she told Bull. “Sorry to steal the show.”

“Best show I’ve ever done,” Bull nodded. “Come back anytime.” He ran a hand over his horns as they drove away. “I can never best that,” he observed sadly.

“You sounded good together,” Dorian pouted. “Why don’t we ever do duets?”

“You never said you wanted to,” Bull took him by the shoulders and steered him back towards the bar. “Come on, I heard a rumor that Cullen was gonna propose next month. What do ya think? Gonna happen? Lavellan‘s your Bestie.”

Dorian smirked, “’Course he will. Just the sort of romantic rubbish he specializes in. The question is… what song? It will be trite and expected, I‘m sure. Nobody sings anything really good anymore at Karaoke Night, except you.”

“Varric’ll have the odds,” Bull grunted.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not responsible in any way for Elissa Cousland's terrible taste in music. She picked it herself.
> 
> But yeah, after a commenter mentioned Bull loving the Bangles, I started downloading Cyndi Lauper and Tiffany onto my phone, and for months now I've had this rattling around in my head...
> 
> I must have done something terrible in a previous life to have this crap keeping me up at night. I really am so sorry. I'll make it up to you with the next chapter. Just as cheesy, but something I have been working on for a YEAR. Writing a couple singing a duet is hard. No joke. It's almost ready. I think.
> 
> Next chapter: Bull and Dorian do 'Bohemian Rhapsody'.


	4. The Big Finish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I looked at this today and thought, "Huh, there's nothing I'd change."
> 
> That means it's time to put it up here. Thank you all for indulging me in my nonsense.
> 
> I give you: Bohemian Rhapsody, Bull and Dorian style.

Of course, Cullen did just that. With tears in his eyes, he sang, slow and earnest,

“Forever could never be long enough for me, to feel like I’ve had long enough with you. Forget the world, we won’t let them see. But there’s one thing left to do. Now that the weight has lifted, your love has surely shifted my way. Marry me? Today and every day. Marry me?”

Lavellan watched, her hand over her smiling mouth, and tears in her eyes.

Dorian hummed, watching his friend and listening. The song was a little high for the Commander, but Lavellan didn’t care. That was enough.

“You‘ll wear white and I‘ll wear out the words ‘I love you‘ and ‘You‘re beautiful‘.” His voice grew husky with emotion, and far deeper than the song called for. “Marry Me?” He sunk to a knee in front of her, a small box in his hand open to show a larger stone than Dorian had expected from a man of such simple tastes and a woman who had never known luxuries until the Inquisition. “Say you will?”

She took the box with shaking hands, and cupped it in her slender hands, her ears turning pink to the sharp tips, but staring at his face in disbelief, as if unsure that he was serious.

“I’ll promise to sing to you when all the music dies,” he nearly whispered, a wrinkle between his eyes. Fasta Vass, did he actually think she was going to turn him down? “Just marry me? Today and every day. Marry me?”

She dropped the box and cupped his face instead, and kissed him while the music finished on its own, forgotten in the background as they whispered endearments and kissed a little more.

The tavern clapped, the MC announcing, “And… I’d say that’s a yes, my friends. Congratulations to the happy couple. Who wants to follow that?”

Dorian wiped away a single tear before hissing to his friend, “I’m planning everything! Don’t you dare let Josie get to it first!” Lavellan ignored him in favor of kissing her fiancé. “I’m your best man, too. Cassandra’s just going to have to lump it.”

“Cass can stand up for Cullen,” whispered Ellana, cheeks flushed and happier than he had ever seen her.

“I was going to ask my brother,” laughed Cullen. “I should get to pick something…” Bull grabbed the mike out of his hands with an impatient grunt, and he immediately grabbed Ellana’s hands. “It was a yes, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” she laughed, flushing. “Forever yes.”

“Good,” he smiled sheepishly, grabbing the box from the floor and pressing it back into her hands. “That’s good.”

“Shit, I’ve got to follow that,” the vashoth grumbled. “Dorian… wanna do a duet?”

“Only if we do ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’,” Dorian stood, imperious. “To disperse some of this sentimental nonsense from the room.”

The couple faced each other on the stage, deadly serious, about to verbally spar with their music. “You ready for this, Kadan?”

“More than you are, Amatus,” Dorian challenged. “At least you know I’ll get the Tevene words correct.”

“Let’s do it then,” Bull grunted.

They took a breath, and let it out, and began, staring deep into the other’s eyes, and watching for nonverbal cues. “Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality. Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see!” They harmonized together, Dorian taking the high path and Bull the low, fitting together almost seamlessly. His heart tried to melt, because they sounded like they belonged together.

Trite nonsense, of course.

Then Dorian broke into his first solo line, “I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,” and Bull broke back in, tilting his horns idly to keep them in rhythm while they waited for the music to kick in completely.

“Because I’m easy come, easy go,”

“A little high,” Dorian prompted with something that was almost a smile.

Bull sang, “little low,”

“Anyway the wind blows, doesn’t really matter, To me, to me,” Dorian continued, watching Bull keep time with his horns, and trusting him to do it right. They worked so well together, in this as well as everything else.

The melody kicked in, and Dorian’s voice soared into the ballad almost everybody knew and loved, pouring all the original pathos and emotion into the verse, as if he cared two pins about his mother back home in Minrathrous, “Mama, ooo! Didn’t mean to make you cry, If I’m not back again this time tomorrow, Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters.” He managed the second verse, singing the end as if he meant it. “I don’t want to die! I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all!”

And then Dorian tripped into the bridge, as lightly as a Halla, trusting Bull to meet him on the other side.

“I see a little silhouetto of a man,”

“Scaramouch, Scaramouch will you do the fandango?” Bull growled in a vaguely Antivan accent, and Dorian’s mouth went dry. ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ had never been so sexy.

“Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening ME!” Dorian let the sparks arc across his fingertips with the last word, earning awe from the room, and then “Galileo!”

“Galileo!” Bull echoed.

“Galileo!”

“Galileo!”

“Galileo Figaro - magnifico,” they sang together, nearly breathless but their voices still fitting together like puzzle pieces. Every single soul in the audience sat in silence, waiting.

“But I’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me,” Dorian whimpered, batting his eyelashes.

“He’s just a poor boy from a poor family,” Bull pulsed darkly, “Spare him his life from this monstrosity.”

“Easy come easy go will you let me go?” Dorian begged meekly.

“Bismillah,” Bull growled the Qun portion, “We will not let you go.”

They sang the question and response in lovely patter, until Dorian took a deep breath, knowing that the time had truly come for the big finish. “Beelzebub! Has a devil put aside for me, for me, for ME!” He hit the high note with confidence, and then Bull broke into his requisite head banging, circa the movie, ’Wayne’s World’, a favorite with the Chargers.

“So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye,” Bull growled angrily, grinning at Dorian who bit his lip and tried to catch his breath after the last soaring line. “So you think you can love me and leave me to die?” Bull’s voice soared and dropped, dark and menacing. Dorian found himself hoping he’d use that voice on him later. Kaffas, he was intense. “Oh, baby. Can’t do this to me, baby. Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here,” his voice looped back up, and Dorian met the cue.

A few seconds later, Dorian finished simply, as sweet as any boy in a Chantry choir, “Anyone can see. Nothing really matters,” he winked at Bull, knowing already that they were going to bring down the house. Together. As it should be. “Nothing really matters, to me.”

The silence when they finished was breathless, both on their parts, and the audience’s. The clapping started slow, and then grew, until it sounded like the thunder mentioned in the song, and then overwhelmed the entire room, and then the building, and started setting off car alarms outside as Fereldans whooped and stomped their approval.

Bull scooped Dorian forward, and planted a kiss on his lips. “Kadan. That. Was. Awesome.”

“Naturally,” but Dorian couldn’t stop smiling at the encore requests. “It’s a classic. And so am I.”

He made his way back to the table, and patted Cullen smugly on the back. “Top that, Rutherford.”

“I wouldn’t dare try.”

 


End file.
